Posts by Coffee House Girl

44

New here...

by hereiam! in

jw
friends

sorry if this starts off as a kind of a downer.. i am 29, and my husband and i have stopped going to meetings since last october.

we live in mexico and used to attend the english.

long story short, after realizing how many much we've been lied to we stopped going to our meetings, moved out of the territory, switched to spanish, and after a month of attending just vanished.

I also can relate, I had panic attacks and nightmares about how my family would react to my leaving, but it was still something I HAD to do- telling them in person was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I did survive the ordeal & I know you will too.

Yes there will be depression and confusion and anger (and I've never been pregnant, so your feelings are many more times intense), that is completely normal

Getting some professional help is important if it is available in your area, I am happy you have your husband with you supporting you during this difficult time....

hugs to you both & keep us posted on how you are

CHG

26

Who picked your bible? And which one do you use?

by cyberjesus in

since there are many many translations of the bible, which one do you use?

how did you decided which one to use?.

what research did you do on that particular version and/or canon?

Coffee House Girl

As part of the graduate program in the university I am enrolled in, I am in a "Christian Foundations" class & we all received shiny new NIV bibles-

this is my first experience with another translation other than the NWT- prior to this I was still quoting NWT in my college papers

my prof is using the NIV to show me the inconsistencies with the trinity doctrine & JW views, I find it very interesting and am weighing my thoughts on what the borg brainwashed me to believe- JWs are taught that the Holy Spirit is God's active force, and what the professor is showing me: the borg changed the use of personal prounouns when referring to the Holy Spirit (which christians view as a "helper" in the triune godhead sharing one essence).....very interesting...........

136

Memorial 2010 Your Experiences

by scotinsw in

just got back from memorial.

only went so that i could say to my parents that i had gone and to remind myself why i left.. oh my word!!!

it was sooooo painful.. got there a bit late - it was a couple of minutes into the talk.

Coffee House Girl

I had a gut wrenching night, first memorial I missed. I was working- but I was in knots. Thankfully after work I had a nice 5 mile run, came back home & my bf gave me a shot of vodka & we drank a beer together. The next day I felt much better (slightly hungover but that felt better than guilt), so glad I don't have to face it for another year!

I expected an "I'm disappointed in you" call from my mom or someone, but I escaped with no responses!

I enjoyed reading everyone's posts on what I missed- reinforces how much I do not want to go back to that mind numbing cult

Thank you everyone,

CHG

44

Not Getting Over It! Ex-JWs Face Residual Psychological, Physical Damage

by TMS in

jw
friends

this is not an essay or "my story".

these are just a few personal observations from someone who lived, breathed and.

slept the jw religion for over 50 years.

Coffee House Girl

Thank you for sharing TMS, reading this thread is reliving what I have been thinking for the past couple of weeks. I finally said to a friend on Tuesday night (not a jw or exjw so they dont understand), I have lived for 30 years waiting...waiting for something to happen- waiting for my life to happen & it was just passing me by. I was waiting for my parents to die before I could start a life (I feel sad and ashamed that I felt that I had to stay in it for my family) I lived for 30 years in shame, guilt, and regret. That was WAY TOO LONG. I refuse to waste any more time on that, I resolve to say no to fear, guilt, and regret and enjoy life and what lies ahead for me. I now have a life of my own making, WOW...that is exciting.

Thank you

CHG

78

Brand New: Currently Totally Devastated

by daringhart13 in

jw
friends

i'm brand new to the board.

long time, "big shot" elder, ....taught at km school, conventions, etc.

yeah, i know it means nothing....but it gives you an idea of how deep i've been a jw.. i don't even really know what to write at this point.

Coffee House Girl

Welcome daringheart

I was never an elder, but I was raised in the truth, was active for all that time, and left after 30 years- that was just seven months ago-

you're right it is surreal and overwhelming, you may spend many nights crying. I am much better now after seven months, but things will hit me once in a while. I hope you have some support on the outside, family, co workers, some human face to face interaction. If not, I recommend seeing a therapist if you can afford it- you have many feelings to get out and sort out rationally.

This forum is also very helpful, keep reading, keep posting- I wish peace for you...

CHG

38

I'm new and wanted to introduce myself

by MarkedFragile in

jw
friends

hello everyone.. i'm new to this forum.

i left the organization several months ago, and am on a new path now.

though i didn't grow up in the organization, i have basically lived a life of pretending to be something i'm not, sheltering my feelings from everyone, and not feeling "enough" to anyone.

Coffee House Girl

Marked Fragile,

Welcome, you are amongst people who understand exactly what you are saying, I have found true friendships outside of the borg. But my new friends can only grieve with me, they cannot understand what I am going through-people here do.

Outside I have found love and caring on a level I never thought possible since I was raised inside the organization- in jdub land I only understood fear, distrust, and a hierarchy I could never be a part of.

Keep posting, keep growing!

CHG

20

How's this for Progress?

by cantleave in

last year i gave the memorial talk, this year for the first time in my entire life i won't even be going.. i guess that missing the memorial will definitely put us on the elder's radar, so i am expecting the elders to be concerned an interrogation.

.

i was going to use the excuse that i will be in a different part of country, but i won't be and i will be at work with at least 3 other jw's in a neighbouring congregation.. .

Coffee House Girl

You have gone through many changes this year, I have been reading you and nugget's posts since finding this site & I can relate, as I am not going (1st time for me too, my life is unrecognizable from this time last year)

I am hoping to feel a release when tuesday is over, I had a JW friend text me to see if I am going (said sorry, but no), got my first invite tucked under my door (didn't have the guts to knock) & threw it away, and my mom reminded me what time the East Side Cong is having theirs (I gave no response to, my decision to leave the borg has hurt her so much I just dont know what to say anymore).

I will go to work as usual, go for my after-work run as usual, and have a nice cold tenants with my bf- it will be a great tuesday.

Best wishes to you both,

CHG

29

JW sister told my newly widowed mom that it would "look bad"if

by aquagirl in

if i took her to the memorial this year.im df'd for years,but out of love and respect for my parents i always gave them this one night.my mum dosent drive.i was going to drive her and sit by her.i promised my dad that i would always do this for him.he was pretty cool,even tho he was an elder.my "devout" sister {who has never lifted a finger to help my parents}told her yesterday that it "wouldnt look good" for me to show up w/my mum,altho everyone knows that i have done everything for my parents,both before my dad died in december and since.

is my sister just jealous that i have a fabulous life,am beautiful,rich,a guitar god,have excellent cool hair, xray vision,can communicate with aliens and have supernatural abilities?

or is she just mean?lol..btw,i am going.and im taking my mum and we are going to sit in the front row,and yes,im gonna wear velvet.....

Coffee House Girl

Lol, I only wish I had cool hair...

Yea, the cong. I attended had a big problem with D'Fd people sitting right next to JW family members, even for the memorial. They think you should duitifully sit in the back row, in the corner, isolated, with a sad repentful look on your face, and avoid ALL eye contact!!! (that goes for even the rich guitar gods with xray vision)

I'm glad you are going anyway and support your mom in the front row-

can I borrow your velvet??

49

The Beard Starts TODAY

by Mad Sweeney in

jw
friends

it was only this past weekend that i finally stated (both aloud and in print) that i would never attend another meeting again.

like many brothers before me, i have decided to symbolize this new dedication to freedom for myself and my family with a beard..

Coffee House Girl

Congrats to you, just in time for the memorial Please continue to post your experiences, I love beards too! Can't grow a good one myself due to the fact I have too many of those female hormones, dammit....

35

I'm new here

by Diamonds in

i stumbled across this website a few months back and have often read the topics posted but this is the first time that i've posted anything myself.. all my family are jws - i got baptized when i was 17 but started to fade when i was about 20 and finally left at 22 when i managed to escape to university and move away from home.

ten years on and i am still out of the org but never disfellowshipped (although i would have been if they'd have known what i've been up to!).

the relationship with my family is not great - i get on with some members better than others.

Coffee House Girl

Welcome!

I am relatively new here too, was in the borg for 30 years and now out for 7 months- I am just settling into my new lifestyle. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of living far away from family and cong.- People do catch my boyfriend and I out in public together, which adds much stress to ordinary things like eating out or going to a movie.

I can relate to meeting new people and telling them about my religious past-

I enrolled in a university, and I wrote an informative essay about cultism. Last week it was due, and the professor asked the class which essay topic the class wanted to hear out loud. Unanimous vote, they wanted to hear mine.... my heart started pounding (just like at the meetings when I was pressured to comment). I got through reading it & the class asked so many questions about my experiences, an hours worth!! I was suprised how readily they accepted me and thanked me for sharing, I felt a release after sharing

So don't be afraid to open yourself up, you never know where support could come from :)

keep posting!